I remember having a conversation with my mother about how much more challenging it is to meet and date someone now that I’m getting older, maturing and am out of college. In college, there is a plethora of ways to meet someone: in the cafe, in class, a mutual friend, at a party, campus event, etc. In addition to this, there is a little more sense of security and comfort because you’re likely to know somebody who knows somebody (who know
s somebody) that knows this interest. Post-college …chile, you GOTS to be more careful! You may mess around and end up out for drinks with a man who failed to mention he’s married to his wife …who’s expecting *sips tea*.
I’ve tried dating “outside the box” if you will. It was basically a blind date, and it was the worst date I have ever experienced! I understand nerves, but some things are uncalled for – like taking your invisilign braces out at the table before we eat. Yes, I was embarrassed (and extremely disgusted); I actually shed a couple tears when I got home because I did not want to believe this was what dating life had come to – like really?! I share that to make the point of we tend to go towards what we know; to be around comfort and familiarity – it’s a safety net.
We’ve all heard it before: if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. But… That’s not always the case. I found myself catching feelings for someone who I shared mutual friends with, who I knew wanted nothing sincerely close to a relationship. We had a unique friendship though; it was all perfect on paper. Over the course of a few years (on and off) our vibes were consistently great. And I would always think because somehow we would revert back to each other it had to mean the timing was just wrong before. Nope. Growing in God, He will show you clear signs of who’s supposed to be in your life for a reason or a season and to what capacity. Just because someone is in your life, doesn’t mean the relationship is meant to prosper into something more.
Ive also been in a situation where I was investing my time and energy into someone (who I met in college) who didn’t know what he wanted. One day it was this, the next day it was that – you can imagine the confusion I felt; especially between what he said and what I chose to hear and wanted to believe. I always seem to hold on to a piece of hope that it will get better, things will change and it was just a phase. It beca
me a cycle; a battle, with more so myself because the signs were there. Establish CLEAR intentions first before making an investment in someone. Entering a territory of no intentions can be just as bad as ill-intentions; the outcome of the actions taken will be more remembered than the intentions itself. As the late Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
A queen once told me, “Dont beat yourself up for feeling or reverting because that’s a very human and natural thing. But when you ask God to show up in certain areas, you have to be tested in those areas. He has to put you in a space to practice what you asked for.” It’s not always going to be an easy way to get over something or someone. But rather, have faith that greater will come. Be still and confident in knowing that what ever is meant for you will not pass you by or cause confusion. Cliché, maybe, but it carries a lot of truth. And yes you may have to work for it, but it wont be a forced process. You will never have to go to combat for happiness or what is meant to be beacuse it will be such an unrestrained experience. “When its your God ordained King (or Queen, or purpose), it’s going to work out, it’s going to flow.”
Know what you want, know what you are worth and believe it.
graduating high school, I went straight to college and directly to graduate school. And of course directly thereafter, get a full-time job in my field of studies was the plan. But it wasn’t quite that simple…
earching for a job and was ready to 
On my challenge list, I said I would try a new natural style. After I took my braids out, I left my hair “out” for about a month and half. I was doing more co-washes than normal because I’d been heavy in the gym. And bantu knot-outs were becoming too much work because I wouldn’t fe
el like re-twisting every single night – especially after working out! So I tried something new – an up-do. Very different from the styles i’m used to, but it was out of my face which was my favorite part lol. After a couple of days, I untwisted the individual twists in the front which created a pompadour. Thanks Morris !
hen you are around them. And when you are not around them, you all are that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and you will always be faithful.
anndreeyahs worLd 